Thank You!

Every year, my family and friends have somehow managed to come up with something to make my birthday very special.. It's either we go to a place i like very much, or surprise me with a party.. Every single year.... has been unforgettable! I guess the thing i like most about it is... the idea that all the people who are very much dear to me never failed to make their presence felt during my birthday..

But somehow... i feel like this year is the best so far (not that i'm saying that the previous ones weren't as nice, cuz believe me... the other years had been a blast!).. Saturday morning, i woke up early.. feeling soo good about myself.. Everything just seemed so perfect. There is something about that morning that made me very happy.. me and my family were in Tagaytay.. and everyone knows how much i soo adore this place. and as i woke up, i felt the cold breeze of tagaytay air. It was 8:00 am.. and on a weekend like this, you will NEVER ever catch me waking up early. but then again, the "unusualness" feel came into me... it's like, a fresh new day! and i have never felt anything like it!

As i checked on my cellphone, i saw 6 new messages.. and 2 missed calls.. greetings from friends, both old and new ones.. as i open it, another message comes in.. one by one... it's like christmas... but better cuz i know that this particular greeting is meant especially for me only..

My boyfriend ariel called up.. and i told him how happy i am right now.. this year.. i felt all my prayers answered. It has been a rough road for me.. but i'm proud to say that i was able to get through with it.. for those of you who doesn't know me well (those who think that i'm just childish in my ways.. the happy-go-lucky type).. you have no idea how much hell i've been through.. this smiling-always-cheerful face, helped me get through the toughest times i had in the past. sometimes, "concealing" helps lessen the pain. and if it meant having to wear the same smiling face every single day... i would. and i couldn't care less to anyone who thinks otherwise.

This year, I have been blessed with so many things.. I went to church, and didn't wish for anything.. I was just sooo grateful to God for always being there for me.. He may not have given me some of the things i want... but eventually, i realized why He didn't. the blessings i have received are simply overwhelming. Bangko Sentral has always been my dream company, and now i am in it.. still adjusting with the new job but hey... that's all i ever asked from Him. Having the most loving family and friends, and an amazing boyfriend. What more could i ask for?? it's like a complete incredible package for me.. all wrapped in one single year!

Before, i used to wonder why sometimes, i am given trials that are just soo hard to surpass. i have been an obedient daughter, responsible student, loyal friend and a good person. but somehow, these things still happen. i still get hurt. people, or i guess circumstances, continue to hurt me. it's like asking myself for the nth time, what? where did i go wrong?? Now i know why... cuz God prepared me by letting me experience all the hardships... so that when He gives me the perfect "GIFT", i would know how to appreciate and value it more. Today, i have learned to value what i have.. more than ever.. to be grateful for the blessings that come my way. and i am willing to go through it all again, if it means having to experience a wonderful thing like this!

To everyone who remembered my birthday... thank you.. so so much!

Angelo Fernando
Andrea Jongo
Grace Luna
Raine Maristela
Patti Sales
Thes Veneracion
Lois Grozman
Niki Liwag
JA Bruan
Jen Pascua
Sir Sonny
Tita Mela David
Pinky Amora
Greca So
Emily Rodriguez
Ate My and Kuya Leslie
Jun Volante
Randy de Vera
Kris Sendin
May Gerolaga
Liezl Martelino
Kendi Ramos
Pia Evangelista
Jd and Ans Lee
Kristoffer Wycoco
Mich Realo
Keng Angeles
Abby Santos
Bombom Saulo
Jay Tiangco
Yam David
Ninong Noel Benitez
Sir Tino
Rayan Ramos
Ate Myrna
Myreen Evangelista
Sirikit Santiago
Pamela Muncal
Ian
Tita Dina and Tito Ely Bote
Ate Beng
Jun Dimayuga
Mareng Melai Paran
Ate Corrie and Adrian Dela Paz

but of course!!! Ariel Atangan (hihi)

tita arlene and mama son... thanks for the beautiful bouquet of pink roses. loved it!! and to my officemates who gave their belated greetings.. the thought was deeply appreciated!

to ate billie and the best kuyas ever... kuya anchie and kuya mon... thanks for calling... i am so lucky to have all of you.. and i would never wish to be with any family other than the ones i have (just want you all to know that.. hehe)!

and to those who came to celebrate with me over the weekend..

Mama, Papa, Kuya Richie, May, Joanne, Pats, Nico, Kuya Marz, Tita Lou, Tita Esther, Tita Neriz, Tito Gil and Manang Tessie....

Thank you all sooo much!!!!

Je suis à toi

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks, and i'm tryin to get back before the cool done run out i'll be givin it my best test and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait i'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved Loved

So, i won't hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, i'm yours

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass and so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm a sayin'is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more it cannot wait, i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short it cannot wait, i'm yours
no please don't complicate, our time is short this is our fate, im yours.
no please don't hesitate no more, no more it cannot wait, the sky is yours!

well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family
it's your god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved

open up your mind and see like me open
up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
ah, la happy family
it's our god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved
listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me ah,
la peaceful melodies it's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved...

-Jason Mraz

Quatro Cantos.... Once Again!

(left-right) butin, mimay, patitums & jo

during may's house blessing @ greenwoods, pasig city

Some things really never change... Ten years of friendship - I guess, life couldn't get any better than this.. Being the youngest and only girl, I never knew what it's like to have a sister growing up... but I never wished for one.. coz God gave me something much better.. He gave me three best friends...

I meet a lot of different people everyday... at work, in school, through old friends and new ones... and i noticed that as you grow older... you'll see the harsh reality of life that not all people are genuinely nice. It took some time for this to finally sink in.. but whenever i get to see my friends, I feel safe.. It's like i don't have to watch out for my actions.. I don't have to worry about being judged nor criticized.... Coz whenever I'm with them.. I know I am home... :)

Ten years after... We are living our own dreams. Med school, Law school, professional careers both here and abroad... But despite the different roads we're taking, despite the changes that come about in our lives.. It still feels the same after all.. We're still the same jo, mimay, patitums and butin from ten years ago.. Still friends and getting stronger than ever!

Love you sooo much guys!

EQUIVOCARSE

EQUIVOCARSE, verb
to make a mistake; to be wrong

Making a mistake and being wrong are two sides of the same coin, no matter how you look at it.. you can never justify... what's done is done.

It's not the mistake that truly matters. It's what you do after the mistake that defines the person you are.

You should never allow yourself to be a prisoner of your own fault. Bear everything all to yourself. Sufferering the consequences does not mean that you have to be punished to death. It's not about taking the blame. It could not take things back the way it used to. Nothing could change what has happened. Sad to say, it has never been done.

People make mistakes. It's a given fact. However, some people seem to be forgetting that a part of committing errors is forgiveness. Learning how to forgive someone no matter how bad that person has ailed you. I know it's not easy. But I suddenly realized that it is more difficult to absolve one's self as compared with forgiving other people. It's hard to accept that you were wrong. Things did not turn out the way you thought it should be. So, you're paying the price, and you have no one else to blame other than yourself. It may be something that is within the subconscious level but I guess people carry excess baggages not because they haven't forgiven the person who caused them pain. Nor it is due to failure of seeking forgiveness from someone whom they have deeply hurt. I think it's because they haven't allowed themselves to be released from this burden.

Forgiveness is important in able to move on. It does not mean that you have to forget everything. In fact, not forgetting is a good sign. It's an indication that you have completely forgiven the person. That despite the bad memories, there is no grudge held. You have accepted the fact that all the things that come about in our lives... including the bad ones are conditions that are already beyond our control. We can only do something upto a certain extent, but just like everyone else - we are human beings. Capable of committing errors. For someone who is being haunted by guilt for so long.. It's about time you let off. You will never deserve the forgiveness from other people unless you have learned to forgive yourself. Everyone deserves a second chance. Besides, I have always believed in the saying: "What goes around, comes around." Let God's divine providence speak for itself.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you,

tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions

Oh lets go back to the start Running in circles,

coming up tails Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy

Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said that it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling your puzzles apart Questions of science,

science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles,

chasing our tails Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

Oh it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

THE SCIENTIST - COLDPLAY

Farewells and Hellos

I hate goodbyes....

My life has been nothing but a fast roller coaster ride.. Sometimes I'm up, the next thing I know I'm down.. Way down that I can't even feel how bad it hurts to fall.

But I guess life is like this for most people.. You will never know when things would hit you. I have a goal.. I'm not the type of person who has no direction. But leaving my current work has never really been part of that plan. For the longest time I thought that I was doing just fine. Life for me may not be perfect for some. But I am happy with it. I am contented with what I have. As far as I'm concerned, I live in a world filled with pastel colors.. Pinks, yellows, purples, peaches and greens - okay.. I may be exaggerating a bit... oh, fine A LOT!!!... But hey, this is my life! I can create my own little wonderland if I want to.. So I'm sticking with my pastel-colored world for now. I'm still enjoying the thought so far. Hmmmm (girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes)...... Ooops! Sorry... Dozed off for a bit there. Haha! Anyways, as I was saying.. I was having fun with work. Pay may not be that great, but money has never really been the biggest factor for me. I love my work because I enjoy the people I work with and it's the coolest job in the world. I may not be the boss.. but for the hundreds of hopeful applicants out there.. I am their goddess of light (haha..)!! So who thinks otherwise now huh??

However, opportunities come to you in the most unexpected time. And if there's one thing I hate to disregard.. It is a great opportunity.. One huge opening that could possibly make or break someone's future. But the decision has not been an easy one for me. I have thought about it over and over until my head ached so bad.. There were things that I didn't want to leave behind. People who are very special to me.. friends and co-workers alike.. the breakfast, lunch and merienda buddies, my bosses, the manangs from coop and canteen, the super friendly guards at the basement... I will miss them all so so much! I will forever treasure those wonderful memories.. Memories both good and bad that are truly worth keeping.. I have stumbled, stood up and fell back over during my entire stay. But I would like to believe that the best thing in falling sometimes, is not the idea of getting back on your feet again... but the satisfaction of great relief after undergoing a long sense of unbearable pain.

Life is an endless journey... My destination may be important. But I would rather mull over which route I'll take to get there.. The choices I make are never certain. However, taking risks just make the trip one heck of a ride!!

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

I Dreamed a Dream

Lea Salonga singing I Dreamed a Dream during her

concert at the PICC last February 11, 2007

Last February 11, I went to see Lea's last concert before going to New York for her upcoming broadway show - Les Miserables. I wasn't really a big fan of musical plays. The last play I've seen was Miss Saigon at the CCP, and that was already six years ago. And the only reason why I got so interested in that play was because I became Ms. Vietnam at our school's United Nation way back in 1992 (it was a big thing for us then.. it's like Ms. Universe for the pre-teeners.. haha!).

But that night, as she sang this particular song.. I felt something different. It was a familiar song.. yet, it seemed like I've heard it for the very first time. I know the melody. It has been sung for so many times. But the lyrics.. I have never understood the meaning of the song until that night. And I realized how beautiful and sad it is at the same time.

Although I can't say that I could totally relate to it.. I mean, I wasn't actually abandoned by some ruthless guy (hmmm.. but now that I've thought about it... maybe yes.. maybe not!), with an illegitimate offspring on the side. My life has not yet turned into a total mess like hers so far. Though I must say when it comes to melodramatic stories, mine wouldn't be far from those seen in most telenovelas.

It is a faithful song at first.. Full of dreams, promises.. but most of all.. it is a song made for the hopefuls.. I thought it was a happy song. But then I realized, towards the end how life sometimes is.. The faith, dreams, promises and hope may not always be enough. It is sometimes cruel if it is seen in that light. We can only do so much. Protection is something that is sometimes hard to obtain.. People, circumstances will, inevitably hurt you. Sad as it is, there are things in life that are simply unaltered. Dreams will be shattered, promises will be broken, and hopes... well they will remain hopes incessantly. I thought this was a happy song.. and I was right. It is happy.. It is supposed to be a happy one. No matter how sad, miserable and painful.. At least I know that life isn't perfect. I will experience pain, miseries, and sadness.. And these things, make me human. Experiences may it be good or bad, make up for the person we are. I would like to think that somehow, these experiences made a strong being out of me.

I DREAMED A DREAM - FANTINE

There was a time, when men were kind And their voices were soft And their words were inviting There was a time, when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time it all went wrong I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high and life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they turn your hope apart As they turn your dreams to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my dreams with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came And still I dream he'd come to me That we would live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weatherI had a dream my life would be So different from the hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.